I Overcame My Fears!

Guys, I’m back and ready to write about mental health once again! I have a positive story to share today. I overcame my fear of traveling alone (check this post if you don’t know what I’m writing about)!!

Today I got home from my trip to a new city to see my beloved Ariana Grande. As some of you know I named this blog after her song “Be Alright” so seeing her perform was an emotional experience for me. I also plan to get this tattooed on my body at some point soon.

I am about to sound so dumb but I cried multiple times during her show. The first note she belted out my eyes welled up with tears. It was a mix of her amazing voice, disbelief that I was there and how much her music means to me.

When she sang “Be Alright” I was so moved because I really needed to hear those lyrics last night. To translate into regular words, she said, all of these tears will come and go, everything will be alright.

That song has been one I’ve gone back to over and over again when I’m going through a difficult time. “Be Alright” is more than a pop song to me, it is encouragement that things may be hard now but eventually it will be ok. It’s the equivalent of a friend giving me a hug after I’ve spilled my guts to them.

I had tears streaming down my face during her song “Needy”. If you experience anxiety and/or depression, I think there’s a good chance you will also connect deeply with this song. When I first heard it, I cried so of course I cried when she sang it live.

The 2nd verse lyrics are, “Sorry if I’m up and down a lot / Sorry that I think I’m not enough / And sorry if I say sorry way too much.” That sums me up pretty well.

Singing and crying at her show was a wonderful and emotional experience that I am so happy that I had. Overcoming my fears was 100% worth it.

Leave me a comment below of your favorite Ariana song! And even if you don’t enjoy her music still leave me a comment please!

My dad’s favorite is “Bang Bang” which he was disappointed that she didn’t perform, hahaha! My dad is so strange.

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Living for Everyone Else

All my life I’ve always felt that I had to live my life following the orders of others. Mainly my mom. That if she didn’t want me to do something, I obeyed.

At 26 I am finally wrestling with the concept that I need to live my life for myself, on my terms.

I have been living to please other people since I was young. I always thought that if I did what I wanted I was selfish because I should always think of others before myself. That my needs are not as important as somebody else’s needs or happiness.

Here’s an example.

During my final semester of high school I wanted to take a fun class because that’s what seniors in high school do. I had registered to take ceramics, something I had always wanted to learn how to do. I told my mom I was going to take ceramics instead of Honors Spanish 4 because they were at the same time.

She flipped. She asked me why I wouldn’t take a useful class like Spanish instead of wasting my time in ceramics. That Spanish I could use in the real world while ceramics I would never do again after graduation.

I was hurt. I never imagined that she wouldn’t support me in trying something new that I had been interested in.

The next day I went to my guidance counselor and asked to switch me out of ceramics for Spanish.

After school I told my mom I transferred out and she looked at me surprised. “Why did you switch out? I didn’t tell you to switch out.” She may not have told me to transfer but I had been programmed to do what she told me to do even if I didn’t want to.

As I continue to grow into my true self, I am figuring out that I can’t be happy if my goal is to please my mom. I love her but I’m not here to live in obedience to her.

Do you struggle with pleasing others? Please leave me comment letting me know!