After working from home since late November and staying at home almost all of the time, I think I’m finally wanting human interaction. For most of last year, I was totally alright with being at home in my little realm doing my own thing. But this past weekend, it hit me that I miss going to work, going to the gym and volunteering at the cat cafe. I technically can still do the last 2 things but the COVID numbers are so high, I don’t want to risk it.
I’m not sure what this says about the person that I’ve become. I’ve turned in to somebody who is content with her two cats, doggy and some fictional characters in stories. Finding solace in stories and animals is something I’ve always done since I was a child. But I’m not a child anymore. I should want to be with other people often, right?
Instead of trying to just be ok with the current state of things, I keep looking back on the past. Shit I used to do, how I used to behave. Reflecting is good to an extent, it’s when we can’t look to the future or see what’s in front of us in the present that can be destructive.
My brain feels a bit foggy. My energy levels are low. I have no motivation to do most things even things I usually enjoy. The telltale signs I’m in another episode of depression. I have things I want to do but the drive just isn’t there. It can be so frustrating to want to accomplish goals but having zero energy to accomplish them.
All I can say is meh.
When you’re in a state of depression, how do you find the energy to still do things (fun things and regular adult things)?
Sending you all positive vibes and I hope you’re all well!