Since September I have been telling myself that I need to find balance. That I am not able to balance everything going on in my life plus the things I need/want to have in my life.
My entire theme of 2020 was going to be about finding balance. During some reflection, I realized that deep down it’s about finding perfection, not balance.
I know I will never be perfect but I have struggled for a long time about wanting to be perfect. To be the perfect writer, girlfriend, daughter, sister, friend and all around human.
A balanced life is a perfect life in my eyes. Being able to juggle everything without having a meltdown every other week would be great! (Yeah that’s something I need to talk to my therapist about.)
I think I’ve been kidding myself with all this talk of balance. Yes I do want to have a more balanced life but I need to remind myself that I will never achieve a perfect life (or even a perfectly balanced one).
With this refreshed thought process about balance I need to reevaluate the word. How can I strive for balance without being swallowed whole by anxiety then dropped at the bottom of a hole with my depression?
Sigh. I left a message for my therapist so I hope I can get in next week.
Do you have anything you’re striving to achieve in 2020? Leave me a comment and tell me!
Be Alright 
When I think of balance I think less about being able to juggle everything and more of apportioning out my time and energy in a way that’s consistent with the level of priority I place on different areas of my life.
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I appreciate your words, Ashley!! You’re right, that is what balance should be about.
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Hi Megan, Ashleighleia’s comment resonates with me. Mainly for me Balance for me is self care, so that I am able to attend to the other areas of my life. Yet when I can not go, not to be hard on myself, or to fixate or fell guilt for weeks on end.
The older I get and working with my psychologist I am so much more comfortable listening to me, not everyone else. I wish I had really understood that in my younger years, and taken it too heart. For me new year, I just want to keep moving forward no matter how small. As long as it is forward. I hope that you have been able to get into seeing Your therapist.
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Thank you for sharing, Tazzie!! That is great you have been able to find and listen to your inner voice. It truly takes a lot of strength to do that. I am going next week!! 🙂
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wonderful and in my thoughts
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