If I’m not feeling good physically, I’m often not feeling good mentally either. There is some sort of correlation between the two, at least in my experience.
For about 3 weeks I have been really struggling with my asthma. I’ve had asthma since I was a kid but have never experienced what I’m going through right now.
I’m taking multiple medicines to help me breathe. Every 4 hours I have to use a nebulizer to relieve the tightness in my chest. Sure it is a nice way to take a break from my day to breathe into a smokey plastic cup but I’m mentally tired of it.
Because this is not my usual life, I’m growing frustrated with each passing day. It makes me feel hopeless, that I am going to have to live this way for the rest of my life.
My depression takes over and tells me that my worry is true. That I will have to take medicine this heavily for a long time.
I’m not sure what is causing my asthma issues because nothing has changed in my life. I’m living in the same house, working in the same office and I don’t surround myself with my usual triggers (smoke, highly fragranced shit).
I have cleaned everything and have kept up with it. I started cleaning my blankets on the weekends and mid-week to cut down on the cat dander from my long-haired fluffs. I even clean with a freaking mask on to prevent me from breathing in any dust particles or fumes from cleaning supplies (which I have changed to more natural options). Lysol makes me die.
I won’t find out what more I can do until the end of January when I see my asthma doctor. I feel hopeless that he won’t even know what to do. He will tell me that this is my life and I have to live my life in a certain way now.
Feeling this way makes me want to curl up in my bed and never leave.
I hope everyone else is having a fantastic New Year! May this year be one where we can all survive and thrive through our mental illnesses.
I love all of you who regularly read, like, comment or have subscribed. I seriously appreciate you all so so so much!
Be Alright 
I’ve heard a few times that anxiety and breathing problems can be somewhat correlated. There’s a lot of science-y gunk in here but this does talk a little bit about the correlation: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0954611112001278 I’m not sure if that helps!
I’m a frequent allergy sufferer and have some problems with breathing in the past, so in a lot of ways I definitely feel your pain ❤
Also, if you're in the market for inexpensive but more natural cleaning products, I'm not sure where you live but Brandless is an online retailer that has so many things and every item is $3. I'm in no way affiliated or anything, just a regular consumer. Might be worth checking out! They have cleaning products and listed in there is:
Non GMO
No Dyes
No Chemical Residue
Biodegradable
No Animal Testing
Cruelty Free
Gluten Free
Hope your 2019 is a great year! Can't wait to keep reading your posts!
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It’s so funny you talk about Brandless because I just got a bunch of their cleaning products!
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That is absolutely hilarious!! Great minds, apparently! I just ordered some of their kitchen stuff last month as a Christmas present!
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Awww thank you 🙂 I’m excited to see what you post in 2019 as well!
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