The last post I wrote was about how getting into a car crash has pushed me back into the hole of depression. It’s been over a week and I’m still stuck. I never thought one incident would impact me so greatly.

As I’m in this figurative hole, I can see that getting out is possible. I see that it’s going to take courage and a shit load of strength to do it though.

I think the first step is to realize that being stuck isn’t forever. Am I going to fall back into depression in the future? Hell yes but it’s not a permanent place. I’ve been in much deeper holes where I couldn’t even see the light, that’s how I know it’s possible to pull myself out.

The hardest part is overcoming the behaviors that I subscribe to when I’m depressed. This is often the most challenging part for me because I try and try but still feel hopeless. When I am in a state of depression, I start laying in bed for hours at a time, sleeping a lot, not eating very much and thinking the same few negative thoughts a hundred times a day. It’s exhausting.

When my brain tells me that I’m worthless and nobody cares about me, it’s hard to find the strength to do anything. Having depression and anxiety can make me feel like my mind is my enemy, that it wants me to fall and never get back up. Shouldn’t my brain be on Team Megan?

Sometimes we all must remember that what’s in our minds are just thoughts. My therapist has suggested to me to let those negative thoughts float past me, to ignore them completely. It’s hard to do that when those thoughts can be so freaking loud.

What are some of the habits you fall back into when you’re experiencing an episode of depression or anxiety?

Thanks for reading! My next post I will give another update on whether I have made it out of my hole.

— Megan

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